It's been nearly a month since Jane passed away... it feels so bizarre just saying that. It doesn't really affect our day to day, week to week life because she was never an active part of our lives but it's still sad. I worry mostly for Linda and Saffron because Jane has always been an active figure in their lives, so I imagine that would have a profound affect on their daily lives.
I have been working a lot more since we borrowed more money to send Kerry to America. It hasn't been too bad, I get pretty tired throughout the week and barely see Kerry, but I'm just trying to stay focused on putting a good dent in the debt we have picked up in the last few months because of the move and the trip. I've been feeling noticeably better since Doctor Pav increased my medication which is a really nice relief. Sometimes I still feel randomly sad, but not as bad and not as long. I have my next appointment with him this week, then next week I have an appointment to speak with Deb.
The boys are back at school, they all seem to be ok. On the second week of the school holidays Carter and Micah went and camped with Derek, Jemima and McKay up at Mount Panorama for the Bathurst 1000 race. They went from Wednesday to Sunday evening and they had such an awesome time, I'm so grateful that Derek invited them to go with them. They brought home 9 big rubbish bags of cans to cash in which we just did on Saturday and they got $92.60 haha so they got $45 each, they were pretty pleased with that.
The hole in the garage wall is all fixed now. My friend John came and set it and painted it which was so kind of him, he won't let me pay him either, but when I can spare some money I want to try give him some. He's always so kind and generous towards me and my family, I love and admire him and Nancy so much, they are just such good people.
Mathias went to his first concert last week, a rapper named Travis Scott. He went with his best friend Wyatt and had an awesome time.
I went over to Cowra yesterday to have a visit with Nana which was nice. This Sunday I am going to a personal development day event, I'm not sure what else you might call it, but that is essentially what it is. I am keen for it, I'm not nervous but I'm not excited for it either, it's kind of oddly neutral. I do look forward to taking some time out, slowing down and just being.
We have a house inspection next Tuesday so I'm trying to get the house tidy for that too which is challenging with the three little boys who make so much mess everywhere they go, working nights, and trying to get enough sleep and rest. an menu plan, buy the groceries, pay the bills, make sure there's enough money for everything that is due for the week (which there never is) but I've got to figure out a way to make it work. keep up with the daily washing of clothes and towels and uniforms, drive the kids around to the places they need to be, picked up and dropped off and picked up again. Make sure I shower and eat and most importantly don't forget to take my medication every morning.
It really is no wonder my brain struggles!!
But right now, I feel grateful that I can do all these things. I manage. And I don't do it without so much love and support. It is hard and I don't even know how I manage to do it, and survive.
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