Kerry got a new job, he starts in three weeks. It's for a company called Enacon and they deal primarily in high voltage which Kerry has always had an interest in so it's a pretty exciting opportunity for him, I'm so happy for him. He's been really unhappy at Kelso electrical for some time now so this is a great change for him with so many more opportunities for him to further his career.
After work tonight I had a long hot shower - I haven't been having hot showers because they're not great for my skin but tonight I thought, it hurts either way so stuff it, I turned the heat up and it. was. good. pre-skin blow up I loved me a good piping hot shower to comfort the body and soul. When I got out of the shower, and hugged the towel on my body, I gave myself a hug. I thought.. you deserve a hug, some comfort, some love because you deal with a lot and you are doing the best you can and that is amazing work. it's not easy to love my body, but in that moment I thought, I love you. If I was someone else looking at me, I would be like dam she's awesome. weird I know, but I think I must have needed it. psoriasis is spreading to my face, I can see it and feel it. the weather is warming up and I'm so scared to show my skin. I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to go to a swimming pool and swim with the kids. I'm afraid my skin will freak other people out. I think I could handle a beach or something like that, but a swimming pool scares me.
I started taking a probiotic just over two weeks ago and it's helping a bit. my skin has not been so itchy which is huge for me. but, now I keep picking it like crazy. it feels like OCD. It's surreal, the urge to pick all the flakes and bumps off so it feels smooth, but it doesn't make sense because I'm creating wounds and causing my skin to bleed and exposing raw flesh that essentially feels like a burn, but I keep picking and picking until my whole body feels like it's on fire and my hands a covered in blood I can smell the iron in my blood on my hands. when it stops bleeding the wounds weep and stick to my clothes, and it hurts. but I keep doing it, I keep picking. I wish I could just leave it alone and I don't know why I can't. I've got to try and find ways to deter me from picking my skin.
