School Holidays week 2

 I'm actually looking forward to the kids going back to school now. I was enjoying it, and I do, but I don't like the lack of routine during the holidays. Plus I really enjoy those 6 hours where it's just me and Oakley. 

Easter long weekend was great, but exhausting, Tuesday I spent most of the day in bed just recovering! when I did get up about lunch time I took the boys to the playground to get them outside and off their games. After that I took the to the swimming pools, Micah has swimming lessons so we went early so they could all have a swim, Taylah even came! then straight after swimming we took Carter over to Eggo for soccer practice and got to video call with Tali and the kids to wish Elise happy birthday. 

Wednesday was Ava-Ruby's 16th birthday! so we called to wish her a happy birthday, and Thursday was Linda's birthday! I love how many birthdays we have in April, still a few more to go.

Mathias had a basketball game on Thursday against a Penrith team who were having a development day, Mathias played so well, they were beating them by quite a lot so the kept telling him to ease up, but I'm not sure he knows how to yet so they rested him, he plays hard when he want to! he's such a talented kid..man..child haha 

We gave Taylah and Mathias both their phones back on Monday which is kind of scary to have to keep tabs on two teenagers on phones! I really hope I can take lessons learned from Taylah having a phone to better teach Mathias. I make sure they all know that no topic is too scary for us to talk about, Kerry gets a bit thrown off at time about how openly I will talk with the kids but things like sex, pornography, smoking, drinking, vaping, periods, objectification, gender identity, gospel questions, money, shamming, anything! I will talk about with them openly, I feel like if I don't discuss these topic with them, someone else will of they'll gather their own information from less desirable sources. I'd much rather teach them, home, is the safest place they can talk about anything.

It's ANZAC day this Monday, so we are going to go spend it at Mums house in Orange. As much as I hate early morning wake ups, I think it is so important my kids learn how important ANZAC day is. So we try to attend a dawn service every year. Then we have a yummy breakfast afterwards.

The kids go back to school on Tuesday or Wednesday...not sure 

Easter weekend and my 37th Birthday

 It's my 37th Birthday today, and I've had a great day at home with my family. Kerry went out in the morning to get things for lunch and came home with one of my fave hot drinks, a coco-mocha-nut. Mum and Sariah came over for lunch and Kerry made brioche French toast layered with crème fraiche topped with strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, pistachios and maple syrup. It was soooo yummy. One of my birthday requests was that there were no video games today, so we played a card game called Get Rich which is such a fun game (until the teenagers started fighting) then did some karaoke and Just Dance which I really enjoy watching the kids do, they're so much fun.  

As well as being my birthday this weekend is also Easter weekend. Tomorrow we are going to spend the day in Cowra which will be really nice and lots of fun. We are doing a treasure hunt around town for the kids and they get their Easter Pjs at the end. And and Easter egg hunt in the Sullivan's yard. Loads of yummy food, way too much chocolate and the best company.

Oakley is tree months now and my return to work is looming which I'm not super thrilled for. I know I don't work that many hours and it is at night while they're mostly sleeping, but it will still be an adjustment for me. I can't express with words how deeply I treasure having my baby Oakley here. There really is nothing more perfect than a precious tiny baby. My heart just explodes with pure love, being close to him is everything. 

I Love all my babies. Granted it is one of my greatest challenges, I love each of them so very much. They are each so special to me. They have their unique traits and qualities, their own spark that they bring to life. I'm always tired, and sometimes down, but there is no place I'd rather be than right here, fighting for each member of my family, loving each of them, but most of all being the best version of myself for them and for me. 

I'm really loving having the kids home these school holidays. One week down and another week (and a half) to go. We slept over at the Sullivan's on Monday night which was really nice. I caught some great footage of Nana having a chat with Kerry. With each year that passes, the reality of loosing Nana feels closer. So my times with her feel more precious.

General conference weekend

Another full on weekend , but I think they’ll be like this for a very very very long time. Merry worked with Brilly Saturday morning. Carter had a soccer game at 10am which again, I enjoyed watching. Then Micah went to a highly anticipated birthday of his friend Tallis. He had such a good time. 

Sunday I planned a ‘Conference shop’ for the kids, an incentive for them to listen and pay attention to the talks. They would earn ‘conference bucks’ as they reverently shared what they got out of each talk, after every two talks the conference shop opened and they could spend their conference bucks on a very large selection of sweet treats, lolly bags, chocolates, chips, fizzy can, pop tarts, basically loads of high sugar treats. It took us 5 hours to get through the 2 hour Sunday morning session, but they actually paid attention, and we’re able to relay things from the talks we had just listened to. It was a very long and draining day, but it was good. 

Taylah had two ‘teenage tantrums’ this weekend too, Saturday night and Sunday night. Which is always very draining. She managed to make a hole in the wall as she hit it with the palm of her hand in her frustration. I’ve always dreaded the day when my teenage children would start putting holes in walls, either in fun but more so in anger or frustration. I really empathise with my teenagers growing in this world today, it is hard, harder than when I was a teenager I think. But it is definitely equally hard to raise them. It takes so much out of me, mentally, emotionally and physically.  But I will stick by them, no matter what nastiness they throw at me. I will fight for them, to teach them better because I love them more than anything. Above all, I want to teach them with love, kindness , patience and compassion. They way I think our Heavenly Parents teach us. I always want to strive to do better and be better for them. 

First April Weekend

 As expected the Saturday was full on. Carters' soccer game was first at 10am, I actually enjoyed watching him. He's not afraid to get in there to kick the ball, his weakness is that he can get lazy when he starts to feel tired or whatever reason, he'll just stop running. I really hope he keeps enjoying soccer and sticks with the sport, I feel like it will give him the opportunity to learn a bit of grit. 

We had to leave his game a little early before it finished because Carter and Micah had dentist appointments at 11am they both got the thumbs up from the dentist which is always a relief for me. then we very quickly ducked home to have some food, feed Oakley then straight back to the soccer fields for Micahs games at 12pm and 1pm, yeah... he played two games. The first one was for his own team, the second was to help out another U6 team for the same club they play for who were short a few players.

Watching Micah play was hilarious! He has been so super keen and excited to play soccer for so long, and now the moment had finally arrived and he could not contain his excitement and enthusiasim. It was like he had ants in his pants, he was jumping, dancing, skipping, running all over the place rubbing his hands together ready to get straight down to buisness hahaha Hilarious!

We finished off at the soccer fields about 2pm came home again briefly then went to the basketball stadium for Mathias Goldminers game at 3.10pm I really enjoy watching Mathias play, he is talented and skilled. Going into round 3 of the comp, we knew the two games this weekend  would be challenging, and they were. Unfortunatly they lost both games, but I am always more focused on how Mathias plays in the games rather than the outcome and he played really well in both games.

Because Saturday was so full on and his second game was 8am on Sunday morning, we didn't go to church.

It's now Monday night and Kerry is away tonight and tomorrow night. The kids are all in bed so I get a little time for myself. Today was good, I walked Carter and Micah to school then went for my walk. After I got home and fed and played with Oakley, I left the cleaning and cooking and had a really really good sleep with him which always seems to take up the school hours. This evening actually went quite well, granted I am so very lucky to have a 15yo that doesn't mind minding her baby brother while I cook dinner or duck out on a quick errand. So all in all it's been a pretty great day. 

It's Been a while...

 I love writing in my journal, but it just isn't happening as much as I would like these days so maybe I'll give this platform another go. I do use my private Instagram account as a kind of journal which I really love scrolling back and through the photos and videos seeing how much the kids have grown and how freaking cute they were when they were little.

Needless to say ALOT has changed since I last wrote on here, but I'm sure I've written it in my actual journal, so I'm not going to back track here.

Last Friday I went to my Dr appointment, I was meant to see him to get my blood test results but I completely forgot about that because I had been feeling unusually down the last couple of days so I spoke with him about that and wanted to confirm with him what is safe for me to use on my psoriasis. He increased my anti-depressants and said it is likely post-natal depression. I told him I was feeling down and I couldn't figure out why I was feeling this way. He assured me that how I was feeling is normal and that I wouldn't find a reason for the feeling. 

I had a good weekend getting some much needed sleep and catch ups with mum and Sariah was so good. 

This week has been good and I think I'm feeling a bit better mood-wise. Kerry took Monday off to stay with me which was nice, we went for a walk and just relaxed. I've been for a walk most days which I always enjoy doing. I put Oakley in the baby carrier and he just sleeps the whole time, he is getting heavy and it takes it's toll on my back a bit, but I love having him so close to me. 

Kerry stayed away overnight last night so it was my first night alone with the five kids! it was full. on. Mathias had rugby training afterschool and has to be picked up at 5, I had a brow wax appointment in Kelso at 6 so I took all the kids and left them in the car while I went in. Then Mathias had Ballet 7-8 and somewhere in there I cooked their dinner, fed them - Micah dropped his dinner all over the ground which I just had to leave until I could get to it - got Mathias home and put them all to bed! I was defeated and the house was trashed!! I think I clocked something like 16,000 steps. I cleaned the food off the ground and put the left-over food away off the bench then slept really really well. Oakley must have known because he was super kind to me and only woke up once at about 2am to be fed.

Kerry is going to stay away Monday and Tuesday night too so yay for me! I'll figure it out, and I'm sure we'll survive.

We have a busy weekend ahead, they're all pretty busy these days. Soccer season starts up tomorrow and Carter and Micah are playing. It's also round 3 of the waratah junior league for Mathias basketball team so he has two games. And Carter and Micah have dentist appointments.

Life is full on and I definitely have plenty of moments in the day where I feel sorry for myself and how tired I am and how much I 'have' to do but really, I love it. I love my family so much, I wanted this beautiful family of mine and now I have it and I couldn't imagine my life any other way that could be better than this.