It's 3.30am and I most definitely should be asleep but I haven't been able to get to sleep. When I go to bed I scratch and scratch and scratch and no matter how well I know that it is so very bad for me, I can't help it. I can't stop and now my skin is on fire. It's astounding seeing how much skin I scratch off my body, day in, day out. I did get to a place where it wasn't so bad, but about 3 weeks ago I tried a different probiotic, going off the one that gave me so much relief and my skin regressed back to super painful and debilitating, it's amazing how quickly we forget pain, but when it came back it I remember how miserable it is, how miserable I am with it. so Last week I used steroid creams and ointments to settle get some relief quickly but I don't like to use steroid products too much as I know my skin can become dependant on it and come back worse. So I only used it for last week. It works so quickly to provide relief. but this week it's sore again. I ended up cancelling the appointment I had with the dermatologist last month, it was not a quick or easy decision, but it did not take long for me to regret canceling it so I feel pretty stupid about that. I've made a new appointment but in Sydney because there is now a 6 month wait in Orange and only 3 month wait in Sydney. I really just want to get my skin under control, it's so bloody itchy and so flipping painful, what was I thinking canceling?!
What is this teaching me? I'm not sure I'll ever know the answer to that.
