What a wild ride this life is, constantly on the move ups and downs, sometimes plateaus. It certainly feels like a sign of the times with things becoming increasingly challenging and happening more often than not. We can't catch a break so I remind myself to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and know that all these things in life a happening 'for me' to learn and grow into the best version of myself if I can learn the lesson I'm meant to learn from it.
I've always found comfort in writing down my thoughts and concerns. So I find myself here again. I started back on my anti-depressants last week, I can't remember how long I've been off them but it's definitely over 18 months-2 years. I know I probably shouldn't go off it, but I usually reach a point where I just keep forgetting to take it everyday. Especially when I was on daily medication for my thyroid too (which I'm no longer on too) I've been feeling pretty low. I know taking medication won't change the things I have to cope with that are difficult which is one of the reasons I've been delaying it I think. But when I'm not coping as well as I could, I know I need some help. So hopefully it will help this time.
Kerry had surgery last week to have his gallbladder removed. He had the week off and went back to work today. He's still a bit sore in the tummy, but he's ok. We also find out last week that the owner of our rental wants the property for personal reasons so when our lease is up next month we have to move out. Sucks, but nothing we can do about it. Now we need to find the money we'll need to get a new rental house. I was doing so well with paying off our debts this last 6 months too, so it really sucks to have to find somewhere to borrow and go into more debt. One foot in front of the other!
I'm trying to not focus on the negative things, but it is hard.
Oakley is an absolute ray of pure joy. He is so flipping sweet and cute and all the yummy things that come with being a little exploring 2 year old. I love spending my days with him, I dread the day he has to start school 5 days a week.
Taylah will turn 18 in December! she is working, but not much. Not enough really. but I'm trying to be patient with her.
Mathias has been through some pretty crap things in the last 6 months too but he never ceases to amaze me. I caught him in bed with his girlfriend today and he told me to leave them alone, I threatened to pull him out of the bed myself if he didn't get out right then. I was relieved that he had his pants on, but still disappointed. He knows the rules and he constantly pushes them and argues them. I don't want to push him away, but I don't want him having sex and risking pregnancy when he's way way to young.
Carter has 6 months left of primary school then he'll head off to high school next year too. I am absolutely terrified to send him to high school, it's like a massive cesspool of all the crappy crap anyone can come across at any age never mind the fact that high school kids are so vulnerable stage of life trying to figure out what life is all about, and they're bombarded with so much horrible crap at high school.
Micah just turned 8 last month. We didn't organise for him to get baptised because we have not been active in the church for 2 years now I think. He is happy though, he's still very feisty and fiery, I don't think that will ever change.
No comments:
Post a Comment